Dictionary.com states that to allow is to give permission to or for; permit or to let have; give as one’s share; grant as ones right.
This word “allow” or “allowing” is key to creating a nurturing, well attached relationships with family.
For the past week, I’ve been in bed trying to manage the pain and swelling from a broken toe. Because of this, my family is taking turns covering all my duties at home. This has made me think so much about this word “allowing”.
Allowing in the context of relationships, is fundamental. In this moment, my family is allowing me the time I need to heal, to rest and get better without a care in the world. Their love is communicated in this allowing and I do not take it for granted.
Me being in bed has also made my two year old a bit cranky. Why? Because “Mami” (as they call me) has not been able to play with him and care for him as she normally would. So how does as child his age tells the ones he loves, that he is hurting or missing me? He yells, he’s cranky, he is moody.
I know this is a normal response to my semi-absence. Allowing him to feel how he feels, while supporting him through every emotion, is how we show him that we love him. We do not tell him his feeling are wrong. Poor little guy misses his mom!
I have always been a very independent person. I love taking care of others and it’s usually very difficult for me to accept help from in any form. I don’t know; it makes me feel weak or needy. But in these circumstance, I’ve had a much easier time allowing others to help me. I can see how I am growing and trusting more. I am allowing myself to rest, to heal and to receive, instead of always seeking to give.
This experience has also allowed our 4 oldest kids to work together as a team to look after their little brother. In turn they have spent great quality time together. As a mother, I couldn’t be more proud.
The compassion and care that my family has showered me with has made me feel so happy and loved.
This fullness of heart that I feel, allows me to laugh through intense pain and see the true beauty of my family. Not that I don’t normally see it, but it is especially bright in this moment.
Moments of sickness and pain, can blow our hearts wide open with love, kindness and compassion.
This brings me to new understandings: It is in the allowing that we bless, we love and show that we accept others. Allowing each moment to be whatever it is. Allowing each person to be where they are and how they are, without trying to change them.
Allowing means to Love.
Ask yourself, how are you allowing in your life?